So this is love?
A-mazing, motherhood is. I absolutely adore it. Last night my dad was reminiscing of when I was a 'wee bern' (his affectionate tiny baby title) and told me that he once asked me what I wanted to be someday. My response in my apparently tiny pixie like voice: A mommy. I have always looked forward to this day, and it is here, and I love it even more than I could have anticipated. (Pause - Max just laughed in his sleep and gave me a big smile) I thought I had connected with my little one while he was in utero, and I did - but wow, when I saw him for the first time, I don't think that there is a word to describe what I felt - complete and utter silence went through my body and for a moment the world seemed to stop all around me and all eyes seemed to settle their gaze on the instant connection he and I had as mother and son. My heart raced so quickly as I suddenly realized this little one was mine, and in my head Cinderella sang so sweetly:
"So this is love, Mmmmmm, So this is love, So this is what makes life divine, I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm, And now I know, The key to all heaven is mine, My heart has wings, Mmmmmm, And I can fly, I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky, So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of, Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm - So this is love."
We just celebrated (well, if you call singing happy birthday to a one week old celebrating) Max's one week birthday. Cheesy - I KNOW - but absolutely necessary. He enjoyed it and is grateful for such a supportive and loving family (we are really working on teaching gratitude early).
We love you Maxwell. We adore every bit of your little existence.
I promise to adore you always.
Love,
your Momma
4 comments:
Ah...you made it. My first experience sounds almost identical to yours...I wanted to do natural too, but with that induced pitocin labor it is very difficult. I felt ok about it because it wasn't a natural labor either.....unnatural labor=unnatural birth you know?
My story was different though because instead of chaos and nurses freaking out and being wheeled into the or, when my baby's heart rate dipped, my midwife exhibited calm assertion and moved my body into a variety of positions until the baby's heart rate stayed stable during a contraction. I delivered her on my side with one leg up in the air. The chord was wrapped around her neck twice. I was SO happy I went with a midwife....and I was able to have my second naturally...I was even induced, but this time through her breaking my water and no chemicals...so with time, healing and a second pregnancy, maybe you could be a vbac!?
You did awesome....there really are no words to describe it, but you did a beautiful job with our limited English language.
How amazing the labor process can be. Everyones experience is different, but it is true what you say "It is absolutely a labor of love to bring a baby here!"...AMEN TO THAT SISTER! Congratulations for doing such a great job Jen. The Lord was truely watching over you that day:-) As He always does. Thanks for sharing your experience with all of us.
Love
catherina
Thank you for that. You really have a way with words. It was beautiful. I think that giving birth is THE most spiritual experience I've ever had. I love you cute little Momma!!
I can't believe how intense that experience was for you! I'm sorry that you had to be scared for your baby and it is such a blessing that you got him safe and sound. Thanks for telling the story.
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